In this real life 100% accurate documentary of actual events President Obama’s secret service agent takes the inaugural plunge. I hope they get good health and dental benefits otherwise I’m not sure I would take this bullet for the president.

Scoping out the situation.

After all he has to check for weapons, poisons, and crabs before the president jumps in face first.

I think it’s really a testament to design and engineering that couches and other furniture are able to hold so much weight and deal with repetitive physical exertion.

Well this bitch must be clean since it’s earned Agent X’s seal of approval.

As with all porno’s they come up with a concept and loosely string it along for 4 or 5 girls to fill up the hour. A herd of fatties come and go. Thousands of dollars of chunker money are given away before we get to the last one. The money shot. What we have all been waiting for His Majesty the President uses one of these women as a trampoline. Yes he can.

Obama pounds away on this whale like it’s an election year and she is the great state of Texas. Man I am proud of our president’s stamina. I know I would have given up after 13 seconds. I say ‘given up’ like I would have had a choice. That was a premature ejaculation joke kids.

Honestly I can’t say I recommend this title very much for spank material but if you want to sit around with your bro’s and drink a few beers while you all laugh hysterically then this is right up your alley. I do want to add that if you are into the bigger ladies then this might be something you will like. I am not. So keep that in mind.

The year is 1763, our protagonist, Captain Edward Reynolds is in dire need to prove himself to his crew. Captain Edwards is almost at his end when he happens upon a young woman named Isabella whom they save from drowning, she tells them that her husband’s ship has been destroyed by the feared Captain Victor Stagnetti, his first mate Serena, and his crew of cutthroat pirates. Stagnetti is in search for the Scepter of Inca, which gives its owner great powers. The problem that Stagnetti runs into is that the scepter is kept on the remote Calaveras Island and he needs the Dagger of Ataljuapa as well as the aid of a descendant of the family to whom the Scepter was entrusted. So, he kidnaps Manuel Valenzuela, honeymooning with the lovely Isabella.   As luck may have it,the drowning slut has given Edwards the opportunity that he needs to win back the awe of his crew. His first officer Jules is the only member of the crew to still believe in Reynolds, and with a little coaxing from the slutty Jules, Capt Reynolds decides to take on the challenge of hunting down Stagnetti. Does the crew have what it takes to stop the tirade of  the feared pirate Captain Victor Stagnetti? Will the drowning slut be reunited with her lost husband? Will Capt. Reynolds go balls deep into the first-mate? God I hope so. The film really does a good job at being between porno and a real film. I am still kinda shocked that they were able to bring Skinemax type porn and hardcore porn together. I actually felt like the actors took time to develop their roles and learn the characters before diving into the pussy.

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The movie starts out as a just like a normal episode. Only this time a of people find themselves on a “deserted” island in search of the perfect location to finish their movie. As they paddle up to the cove they stumble upon a half retarded person pissing in the wind. The crew are ecstatic when they see what a huge cock this guy has. The crew diverts to a new plan as it seems they have found a few new cast members for their movie. The crew sets the trap and Gilligan falls helplessly into it. The first scene involves Gilligan and Alex. The scene is really great. I did want a little more thought, the entire scene is pov oral. Gilligan didn’t mind though. This girl took his cock like a champ which eventually leads to Gilligan blowing a load in her face.

Mary Ann is the second member of the gang to get her socks knocked off. I bet Mary Ann has never seen anything in Kansas like this before. The girl knows how to take a cock. Mary Ann knows what it takes to get off the island. I was about halfway into this scene when I was shocked at Mary Ann’s secret. She was riding it hard and started to really moan, I mean really get into it, and then all of the sudden she pulls it out and starts squirting everywhere. I finally know why everyone was so excited when she made coconut cream pies. I was not surprised when Mary Ann finally gets a load to the chest and she loved it. This has to be my favorite scene.

This scene did nothing but reaffirm that Ginger is nothing but a cock hungry whore. Just the way I like em. I mean honestly we all knew it, but now we get to see why she is the star of Hollywood. Come on Ginger show us your talent! I was not disappointed by her star studded performance.

The next scene proves why the Professor is so valuable to the gang. The professor puts his skills to the test when he gives this dirty slut a licking she will never forget. I was really surprised that a beaker was not used in this scene. I mean, something at least. The Professor is usually so creative. I half expected a dildo made out of coconut. The scene is a normal run of the mill fuck. I do have to say the girl must love cum, she licks his up his like it’s seed from the tree of knowledge.

Mrs Howell loves showing the skipper her gratitude for saving them from drowning. She takes him deep into her throat and does her best not to gag on his fat cock all the while wearing a pearl necklace that is sure to be replaced by Skippers hot cum.Skipper returns the favor by giving her a tongue lashing that Mr Howell would never be able to keep up with. Mrs Howell begs for the skipper to never stop as he fucks the living daylights out of her. Never the less it has to end and Mrs Howell takes it down the throat like a good little whore. This was the hardest scene for me to watch. I was saddened very deeply that Mr. Howell was not apart of this scene.

Finally it happens!! Gilligan gets to bang the shit out of Mary Anne and Ginger! It begins as Gilligan innocently runs into the girls and  they begin to talk about there last night on the island. They want to thank Gilligan for being such a great guy, and boy do they know how. The girls overtake Gilligan and and take turns giving him the best they have to offer. Mary Anne and Ginger finally give up that elusive coconut cream pie to the all to deserving Gilligan.

The movie comes to an end the way that Gilligan’s Island always ends. The gang waits, as they always do, for the crew to send help only to find out they were duped yet again. The gang hears the wonderful news of their new stardom on the radio and Gilligan exclaims ” I wondered why he was filming all of us from the bushes”.

Okay, so this wasn’t the best porno I have ever seen. It was not horrible, but not great. I would buy it, but then again I do have a hard on for this show.  It is worth being added to the collection, even if it’s only brought out to show friends how the cast knows how to get down.

Purchase This Ain’t Gilligan’s Island

It starts off in a dojo. Two men awkwardly spar as one is obviously of the karate discipline and the other is a trained boxer. A lot of thought obviously went into this script.

The ring girl giggles in the background as porn music starts to slowly play. Apparently when girls hear porn music it automatically turns to sex. Proven science.

In a future episode of DailyWad video podcast we will try this out in public so stay tuned.

Soon we are treated to a dirty whipped cream pussy eating contest and chocolate sauce extravaganza.

I was turned on. Oh man was I hard. I was also wondering who would have won the fight. The boxer looked stronger but the karate kid looked more agile on his feet. We may never know.

Standard sex ensues. I can’t say I was let down with the finish on the first girl.

Breakfast of champions.

The second girl ordered some pizza. Standard porn cliche. Fatty much.

The guy then proceeds to rub melting hot pizza all over her nipples. I’m all for imaginative storytelling but can we at least try to be sort of realistic. There is nothing sexy about rubbing melty, molten cheese and processed pepperoni on a pair of perky breasts.

Hotdogs appear out of nowhere and go right up this dirty tramps snatch.

My dick is getting softer by the second. Are those Ballpark Franks, Hebrew Nationals, or Oscar Meyers? There plumpness rules out Ballpark Franks but there color says the opposite.

Hebrew Nationals have more of a tapered edge. So my best educated guess would be Oscar Meyer wieners. Which is just despicable and a real slap in the face to all hotdog aficionados.

Let me be honest here. I fast forwarded to the next girl. Nothing turns me off more than cold meat juice being eaten out of girls pussy.

But friends it only gets better. I wouldn’t call this a strong contender for the best porno of 2009 without a reason.

As far as I can tell the third set of girl’s go to the Whipped Cream Art Institute. It must be one of those infomercial colleges because you pay for your degree in hot steamy sex. Not to mention the way this is going the diploma is printed on a cherry fruit roll-up.

Well, the girls are trying there hardest to paint something with their tub of whipped cream when they are caught by their professors. The professors are steamed. How dare you use whipped cream on our clean canvas without permission. I can’t blame them I’d be pissed too. Hell I’m a professor.

Well you know how these things go and in 10 seconds flat it turns into an orgy. I hope that whipped cream is low-fat.

The sex here is pretty good. The girls are incredibly attractive with large breasts. Definitely no fast forwarding this time.

For the Viewers: I’m pretty sure they were twins but I can’t be positive since. Ahem. I had my hands full.

At this point they completely give up on story which I think takes a little bit away from what is otherwise a very entertaining and very wanking watch.

Also if your not paying to much attention the chocolate sauce sort of looks like shit. Which causes a little confusion when you double check to make sure you are watching the right kind of porn.

Just when I thought I was done. Just when I thought “Hey I’ve had enough of great looking women covered in food toppings!” They draw me back in. The two from the dojo are back! This time they work in a old time diner operating the soda fountain. Not exactly the career I had pictured for my two boxing/karate badasses. Well these two bitches get on there bad side so what else do they do but shove fries down their tops and burgers between their ass cheeks. Perfectly sensible.

After really hating the hotdog pussy fucking about three girls before on this dvd I surprisingly really liked this one. I think Bananass is so well done that it has evolved my taste beyond simple sugary sexual substances to a real hardcore burger and fry sex-a-thon.

It’s a good thing too because they saved the pièce de résistance for last. Some HARDCORE fucking with waffles, syrup, whipped cream, and saliva. I was sporting wood but I’m not sure I was very happy about it.

Make it rain sir. Make it rain.

After the credits roll and a half a box of kleenex later, I would give this a 9.2 out of 10. The girls were very attractive, the music was catchy, and the fetish was well done and only rarely over the top.

The only disappointing this is that there was very little banana screen time. Probably a huge health hazard to be sticking them up a snatch anyway. Women need to suffer for the art and our amusement.

We’ll see how the rest of the year goes but you might be seeing Bananass again in our Best of 2009 post in a few months.