Click Here For More

Click Here For More

Someone should sign this man up to a record contract. I’ll buy the cd as long as during all the songs the hard methodical  sound of fucking is heard.

2.) A Little Mistake

In the heat of the moment I’ve been known to overshoot or undershoot a target. I think every man has felt the shame displayed in this video. I know I have.

3.) Cream Of Wheat

Where to start. I was going to write a long summary about racism, the 70′s, and advertising but then I said fuck it. Just watch this clip and be amazed.

4.) Flight Of The Bumblebee

Some works of art live on beyond the original composer. I wonder if Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov was hoping for a moment like this when he originally composed Flight Of The Bumblebee. This one is the most subtle of the porn moments here today so if you don’t laugh the first time keep watching.

5.) No Respect

Serves this dirty wench right. She should know better than talk back and start giving sass. Get back in the kitchen bitch and make me some Cream of Wheat.

6.) Dinosaurs RAWR

This is my favorite clip of the ten. The way the pterodactyls get into the role playing and just have a great time puts a tear in my eye.  My suggestion is to heat up a bag of popcorn and set this one on repeat.

7.) Booya

The girl in this clip just sits there and takes it. Is this a normal day at the office for her? I can’t imagine what fucked up shit happens on a regular basis to make this one no big deal.

8.) Shark Attack

Dun dun, dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun. Spielberg tried but couldn’t quite match the sheer ferocity and viciousness of the shark attack in this clip. How does that boat not sink with all of that weight on it?

9.) Smurf Fucking

All I have to say is wait till the end when Gargamel shows up. A masterpiece.

10.) Seen Not Heard

Women. Please. Shut up during sex. We don’t need you giving us the fake sounds and the play by play. We are trying to concentrate and all you are doing is messing up our game.

In this real life 100% accurate documentary of actual events President Obama’s secret service agent takes the inaugural plunge. I hope they get good health and dental benefits otherwise I’m not sure I would take this bullet for the president.

Scoping out the situation.

After all he has to check for weapons, poisons, and crabs before the president jumps in face first.

I think it’s really a testament to design and engineering that couches and other furniture are able to hold so much weight and deal with repetitive physical exertion.

Well this bitch must be clean since it’s earned Agent X’s seal of approval.

As with all porno’s they come up with a concept and loosely string it along for 4 or 5 girls to fill up the hour. A herd of fatties come and go. Thousands of dollars of chunker money are given away before we get to the last one. The money shot. What we have all been waiting for His Majesty the President uses one of these women as a trampoline. Yes he can.

Obama pounds away on this whale like it’s an election year and she is the great state of Texas. Man I am proud of our president’s stamina. I know I would have given up after 13 seconds. I say ‘given up’ like I would have had a choice. That was a premature ejaculation joke kids.

Honestly I can’t say I recommend this title very much for spank material but if you want to sit around with your bro’s and drink a few beers while you all laugh hysterically then this is right up your alley. I do want to add that if you are into the bigger ladies then this might be something you will like. I am not. So keep that in mind.

Janine Lindemulder

Janine Lindemulder is a hot milf that thinks she is a better parent than Sandra Bullock and Jesse James. Janine has not only had hard things up inside every hole in her body she has proven she is hard by spending time in the slammer.

She was jailed for federal tax evasion in December 2008 and spent six months in jail. Following this conviction Jesse James (Janine Lindemulder’s ex-husband) and Sandra Bullock were given temporary custody of their five year old daughter.

Now that Lindemulder is out she wants the kid back. Personally I would love my mother to be a porn star. During the winter’s we could sit around the toasty fire and drink hot cocoa while watching her entire filmography. Which includes such great titles as Hidden Obsessions, Seven Deadly Sins, and Emperor.

All of which have won multiple awards. Hidden Obsessions claimed the Best All Girl Scene of 1994 and the Best Girl-On-Girl Action awards, Seven Deadly Sins walked away with the Best Supporting Actress and Best All Girl Scene titles of 2000, and finally Emperor which won the Best Sex Scene Coupling of 2007.

Janine Lindermulder has won more awards and is a better actress than Sandra Bullock. Sure she has had a little trouble with the law but she is very good at her job. Let her have custody of the child back and maybe she can teach that little girl a little of her artform.

To read more about this go to The UK Telegraph.

It starts off in a dojo. Two men awkwardly spar as one is obviously of the karate discipline and the other is a trained boxer. A lot of thought obviously went into this script.

The ring girl giggles in the background as porn music starts to slowly play. Apparently when girls hear porn music it automatically turns to sex. Proven science.

In a future episode of DailyWad video podcast we will try this out in public so stay tuned.

Soon we are treated to a dirty whipped cream pussy eating contest and chocolate sauce extravaganza.

I was turned on. Oh man was I hard. I was also wondering who would have won the fight. The boxer looked stronger but the karate kid looked more agile on his feet. We may never know.

Standard sex ensues. I can’t say I was let down with the finish on the first girl.

Breakfast of champions.

The second girl ordered some pizza. Standard porn cliche. Fatty much.

The guy then proceeds to rub melting hot pizza all over her nipples. I’m all for imaginative storytelling but can we at least try to be sort of realistic. There is nothing sexy about rubbing melty, molten cheese and processed pepperoni on a pair of perky breasts.

Hotdogs appear out of nowhere and go right up this dirty tramps snatch.

My dick is getting softer by the second. Are those Ballpark Franks, Hebrew Nationals, or Oscar Meyers? There plumpness rules out Ballpark Franks but there color says the opposite.

Hebrew Nationals have more of a tapered edge. So my best educated guess would be Oscar Meyer wieners. Which is just despicable and a real slap in the face to all hotdog aficionados.

Let me be honest here. I fast forwarded to the next girl. Nothing turns me off more than cold meat juice being eaten out of girls pussy.

But friends it only gets better. I wouldn’t call this a strong contender for the best porno of 2009 without a reason.

As far as I can tell the third set of girl’s go to the Whipped Cream Art Institute. It must be one of those infomercial colleges because you pay for your degree in hot steamy sex. Not to mention the way this is going the diploma is printed on a cherry fruit roll-up.

Well, the girls are trying there hardest to paint something with their tub of whipped cream when they are caught by their professors. The professors are steamed. How dare you use whipped cream on our clean canvas without permission. I can’t blame them I’d be pissed too. Hell I’m a professor.

Well you know how these things go and in 10 seconds flat it turns into an orgy. I hope that whipped cream is low-fat.

The sex here is pretty good. The girls are incredibly attractive with large breasts. Definitely no fast forwarding this time.

For the Viewers: I’m pretty sure they were twins but I can’t be positive since. Ahem. I had my hands full.

At this point they completely give up on story which I think takes a little bit away from what is otherwise a very entertaining and very wanking watch.

Also if your not paying to much attention the chocolate sauce sort of looks like shit. Which causes a little confusion when you double check to make sure you are watching the right kind of porn.

Just when I thought I was done. Just when I thought “Hey I’ve had enough of great looking women covered in food toppings!” They draw me back in. The two from the dojo are back! This time they work in a old time diner operating the soda fountain. Not exactly the career I had pictured for my two boxing/karate badasses. Well these two bitches get on there bad side so what else do they do but shove fries down their tops and burgers between their ass cheeks. Perfectly sensible.

After really hating the hotdog pussy fucking about three girls before on this dvd I surprisingly really liked this one. I think Bananass is so well done that it has evolved my taste beyond simple sugary sexual substances to a real hardcore burger and fry sex-a-thon.

It’s a good thing too because they saved the pièce de résistance for last. Some HARDCORE fucking with waffles, syrup, whipped cream, and saliva. I was sporting wood but I’m not sure I was very happy about it.

Make it rain sir. Make it rain.

After the credits roll and a half a box of kleenex later, I would give this a 9.2 out of 10. The girls were very attractive, the music was catchy, and the fetish was well done and only rarely over the top.

The only disappointing this is that there was very little banana screen time. Probably a huge health hazard to be sticking them up a snatch anyway. Women need to suffer for the art and our amusement.

We’ll see how the rest of the year goes but you might be seeing Bananass again in our Best of 2009 post in a few months.